Thursday, February 24, 2011

I am a writer.

Tuesday night I finally got back to writing.  I hadn't done any writing (other than blog posts) since my Grandmother passed away two weeks ago.  I wasn't avoiding it on purpose.  There was just too much to do, too much to feel, too much to think about, too much to figure out.  I simply did not have the time or energy or creative spark necessary to tackle writing.

But last night I opened up a Word document, gave myself a writing exercise to do, and wrote.  I started and stopped about 10 times.  It was really awful stuff.  It was like I had forgotten how to put words together on paper.  It was stilted and abrupt and disjointed.

Then I had that magical breakthrough.  I'm sure many of you know it.  That wonderful relief when the words start to flow, the ideas click and the easy joy of writing takes over.

And I felt my brain sigh with relief.  Even though my writing had absolutely nothing to do with my Grandmother, my emotions, what I've been dealing with, or anything remotely close to it - it was therapy.  In that moment I wasn't worried about being published or proper comma placement.  I was just able to be me again.  I was in my comfort zone.  I was happy.

That is when I knew...I am a writer.

21 comments:

  1. I'm glad that the invisible barrier didn't hold you for long! And, you got back in the saddle a lot quicker than many of us would have. Cheers!

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  2. Those moments when the words come easily are the absolute best. If only they came more often :)

    So sorry about your grandmother. When my father-in-law died a few years ago, it was a terrible loss for our family. Our children were still quite young, and his was the first death they'd experienced (besides our family dog - not quite the same.) My youngest daughter, who was about 6 at the time, dealt with it by drawing picture after picture of her beloved grandfather. I dealt with it by writing a story called Gone Fishin' which, though it did well in a couple of writing contests and was reluctantly passed on by a couple of editors, has never been published. But it helped me to write it, and my mother-in-law loved it. There is no denying, writing is therapy.

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  3. I'm so sorry to hear of your grandmother's passing. It is a very difficult time. I am glad that your writing muse decided to cooperate with you and let the words flow without restriction. I love those feelings. Best wishes and keep writing.

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  4. I'm so happy to see that, Megan! I'm glad you are back! You have been missed!

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  5. I'm glad you pushed on through that initial awkwardness :)

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  6. I'm so happy you found that moment. Welcome back!

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  7. Welcome back to the zone. :-)

    Natasha, fellow crusader

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  8. It's not always easy to jump back in when I stop writing for a while, but when the words begin to flow there's nothing quite like that feeling of accomplishment. Take care and keep writing fellow crusader.

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  9. This is powerful stuff! I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother, but I'm happy to hear you retained such an important part of yourself.

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  10. Sorry to hear about your grandmother. It's tough to get the words flowing when some much is going on. It's great that you were able to get them flowing again.

    I wanted to let you know that you've won an amazon gift card in my "Thanks to my 100 followers" giveaway. Congrats! I'm emailing your prize now. Let me know if you don't receive it. my email is cherylanneblogs (at) gmail (dot) com

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  11. Sorry to hear about the passing of your grandmother. Best wishes to you and your family.

    Writing is my therapy as well.

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  12. Sorry about your grandmother. Writing will help heal your pain.

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  13. YAY! That is the BEST feeling in the entire world. It's strange how you can write every day, and then as soon as you go without it for a week or two you start to forget. Still, it's good to know that you can always find your way back to your true voice. Hopefully, it'll be smooth(ish) sailing from here.

    <3 Gina Blechman

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  14. So sorry you've been dealing with a death in the family - but good you have been able to return to taking joy in creativity again. Writing can be cathartic and therapeutic and all those wonderful things when we need it to be.

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  15. I'm very sorry to hear about your grandmother... I'm glad you were able to find that therapy in writing though.. I love how it has the ability to just take us away.

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  16. Very sorry to hear about your grandmother Megan. Happy that you are back in the saddle :)

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  17. Hope you and yours are doing better each day.

    Way to go with sticking to your writing assignment. I'm glad the words finally came. It's kind of like running. After you've been going for a while, it finally gets easier and more enjoyable.

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  18. Condolences again. It is very hard to gain momentum again after a loss, but taking small steps is the way to go, so good for you!

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  19. I'm sorry about your Grandmother's passing.

    Hooray for getting back in the groove and finding the sweet spot again.

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